Uncle Tickles - Christmas Stories


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I well remember those short winter afternoons leading up to Christmas when with a red sun sinking slowly in a clear sky foretelling of another frosty day, Uncle Trickles would sit round the old Tortoise Range and with the hake pulled down would ask us about our learning.  ‘If a herring and a half cost a penny and a half how many do you get for a shilling’? he’d say, or ‘what did Marilyn Monroe buy two six penny balloons for’? – these questions somehow passed principles of understanding – not information – principles of country understanding.

As ‘Old Cack’ his Mother was busying herself trimming oil lamp wicks on the newspaper covered farmhouse table that stretched almost across the whole room and the hams in pillow cases were hanging in expectancy above she would tell him not to be so stupid and get on back to work.  ‘He gets the Davil in him dear’, she’d say, ‘he gets the very davil in him’.

You knew when his pearls of country wisdom were coming because his whole face would crack from ear to ear in a grin and the crows feet round his eyes would close up.  This happened on almost everything you said then he’d come out with a saying to suit – a metaphor such as ‘old dogs for hard roads and a lean dog for a bitch’ which seemed to put a humorous measurement on things.

Order of Stories

1.  The Sale Of The Suffolk Acre – How Tickles played his ‘trump card’ and ‘extracted the colonel’s back teeth – gums and all’

2.  The Ditto – Tickles adventures in Ipswich

3.  The Bow & Arrow Set – How one of Tickles ‘boasts’ frightened off the London cousins

4.  Jimmy Whissock – Was the worse cat in Christendom until that dreadful night when he encountered Tickles

5.  The Kensitas Coupons – Tickles yarns were always upstaged by Jock until one night when .......

6.  Never Eat A Custard – The secret that saved old Jim Green’s life

Thanks yer Mother for the eggs as Tickles would say.

Product Code: NLDVD31




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